Category: Mythology

The Simple Semicolon

3/23/2015

In my personal mythology of punctuation, Semicolon is a sweet, shy underdog, often misunderstood and maligned but heroic in his own way. He lives in his humble hut, gentle and introspective but always alert to passing sentences that have become confusing tangles of list items and related clauses. Semicolon brings words together in the most graceful way and asks for nothing in return.

I don't know why our poor Semicolon is so misunderstood. Maybe it's because he sometimes gets used in sentences that are long and winding and difficult. But don't worry. I'm here to offer a brief (and simple!) guide to the use of this lovely punctuation mark.

CONNECTION

You have two independent clauses (complete sentences) that are closely related. They're so closely related that using a period between them would be just a touch too much interruption. Well, use a semicolon instead!

These pears are too ripe for me; I like my pears crunchy.

The sun is shining; spring has arrived.

COMPLEX LISTS

You have a list of three or more items. At least one item in the list contains commas. To avoid confusion, separate the list items with semicolons (you can think of it as if the higher-level commas are "graduating" and need a little hat on them).

They asked for apple juice, orange juice, and lemonade; blankets and pillows; and the Netflix password.

There is one last commonly accepted way to use a semicolon: When a sentence has a whole lotta commas and the meaning might get confusing, a comma might be graduated to a semicolon for clarity. You'll see it a lot more often in older literature. But please, unless you have mastered the use of the semicolon, pretend this last way to use it does not exist. I have a theory that it's what causes most people's confusion.

And that's it! Semicolon wants to help. Let him.

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Em Dash—A Love Story

2/5/2015

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The next featured character in my personal mythology of punctuation is the powerful, the confident, the underappreciated em dash.

Em Dash is the hero who patiently awaits his moment of glory. He watches, ever alert, as Parentheses, Semicolon, and Period exhaust themselves leaping into action over and over. When floundering clauses start to drift away, when Exclamation Point, Colon, and Comma are too much or not enough, Em Dash straightens his immaculate eveningwear and walks with self-assured yet humble strides into the fray. The following situations are just some of the ones in which he truly shines.

INTRODUCTION
An em dash can convey a professional, if somewhat brusque, greeting to any type of physical or digital missive. (Note that what appears in these examples may be two hyphens instead; see the end of this post for an explanation of that bit of tomfoolery.)

Good morning, Michelle--
I dropped a project off in your office…

If you’re sick of colons and commas, it can also provide a slightly different flavor when introducing a list or an idea.

I don’t know what I liked most—the movie, the previews, or the snacks.

PAUSE
Em Dash is unique in that he can cause an abrupt halt; he is more decisive than Ellipsis and sharper and more versatile than Period.

“Would you like some sup—” She broke off and stared. “What are you wearing?”

EXTRA INFORMATION
When em dashes are used to provide extra information within a sentence, parentheses can be used almost interchangeably (but they can make their contents seem less important than the rest of the sentence). Using an em dash keeps the elaborating information on the same level of importance.

The doctor—a pompous fool—somehow managed to concoct a miracle cure.

The true value of this story—what keeps scholars returning to it time and again—is what it says about the plight of the chronically ill.

CONNECTION
Like a semicolon, an em dash can be used to connect two sentences.

Leave him alone—he’s busy!

I don’t know why I wanted a puppy—she destroys all the furniture.

Short, medium, long: hyphen, en dash, em dash.

Please note that an em dash is neither a hyphen nor an en dash.

The name “em dash” refers to the width of the letter “m” (which is wider than an “n,” hence the slight difference in length between the en dash and the em dash).

One should almost never use an en dash in writing; it’s used mostly with things like number ranges.

A hyphen is even shorter. Sometimes, depending on where people are typing, they’re forced to use two hyphens to indicate an em dash, because Em Dash is often considered a special character.

In Microsoft Word, when you type a word, two hyphens, and another word, the hyphens will turn into an em dash when you continue typing. Easy. When you type a word, a space, one hyphen, another space, and another word, the hyphen automatically turns into an en dash—not what we want!

Simply put, I love Em Dash. He is, well, dashing. (I also love puns.)

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The Mighty Apostrophe

1/20/2015

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Maybe the reason I love punctuation so much is that I think of each mark as a character. Well, I guess it is a “character,” technically, but I think of it as a person. A superhero or ancient god or goddess. I am constantly creating a mythology of punctuation.

So, in the interest of spreading the love of punctuation, I offer up the first installment of a series on the powers of each little mark.

The mighty apostrophe has a very specific and limited set of abilities. She is frequently misunderstood and sparks mischief in word processors all over the world in retaliation. She is rigid and unyielding, slinky and sassy as the mood strikes her. She can bring other characters together by force; she can strike them out of the text entirely if she pleases. She lives alone in a secluded cave but can frequently be seen haughtily stalking through the villages nearby.

Enough mythology; let’s look at what the apostrophe can do in the real world.

POSSESSION
If you want to say that something belongs to someone (or to something else), you might need an apostrophe (and, generally, her only friend, the letter “s”).

Eat Jim’s pizza.

The pizza belongs to Jim or originated from Jim in some way.

Note that (except in very rare circumstances, outlined in another section below) you should not use an apostrophe to make something plural. How do you know whether something is plural or possessive? Just ask yourself whether the word (or noun phrase, like "your family" in the photo below) in question could be replaced by a possessive pronoun (my, our, their, his, her, its*).

Eat his pizza.

“His” is a possessive pronoun, and the sentence still works, so “Jim’s” (with the apostrophe) is correct.

The car belongs to the Smiths.

Should “Smiths” be “Smith’s”? Well, replace "the Smiths" with a possessive pronoun. If it makes sense, add the apostrophe.

The car belongs to our.

Um, no. One Smith, two Smiths, three Smiths, four. Add “s” or “es,” not a single thing more.

(It’s tempting to add an apostrophe if the singular form of the noun already ends in “s.” But this is when to add “es” instead. Keeping up with the Joneses. Apostrophe tends to get angry if you mistreat her by using her to make plurals.)

Sometimes you need to make something both plural and possessive. Do it in that order. Add “s” or “es.” Then add the apostrophe.

The Smiths’ car.

*Understandably, “its” confuses many. Just remember that there are two different words: its and it’s. The first is a possessive pronoun. The second is a contraction.

Huh? If you want people to pay a lot for something you're selling, it may help to hire a proofreader.
"Your Families" here is plural. "Your Family's" would be possessive: the treasures belonging to your family.

OMISSION
The apostrophe has the unique ability to obliterate letters, either between words (as described in the section on contractions, below) or within a single word.

An apostrophe tends to be used for omission within a single word if the writer is using slang (or, specifically, writing words the way they sound when people say them aloud).

Make ’em shout. I want to hear hootin’ and hollerin’.

The omission can come at the beginning of the word, in the middle, or at the end and can be one letter or multiple letters. There are two things to note about this apostrophe use:

1. The apostrophe should always face left. (It should gently hug the air or letter to its left.)

Always, always, always. But unfortunately for us, most word processors will automatically use that imposter, the single left quote, when you try to stick an apostrophe at the beginning of a word. There are ways around this: Use the symbol browser; set up a shortcut key; or do it the clunky way and type any letter, type the apostrophe and the rest of the word, then delete the cheat letter. This is not a concern with fonts that use a straight apostrophe.

2. An apostrophe can only be used once in a word.

There may be multiple places in a word where letters are omitted. But you should only use an apostrophe once, at the first instance of omission.

Look at the li’l cutie!

Aww, poor misplaced apostrophe. Because both the "a" and the "d" are omitted from "and," only the first omitted letter should be replaced by the apostrophe: Stop 'N Shop.

CONTRACTION
Sometimes, through either the temporary goodness of her heart or a desire for vengeance, the mighty apostrophe will use her most treasured power to combine innocent words into one. She deletes unnecessary letters who get in the way (see the section on omission, above).

This one should be quick and easy: If the word is really two words combined, use an apostrophe.

If you don’t (do not) know whether the word is really two words, try saying the sentence in a snobby accent. If that doesn’t (does not) help, consider Googling, say, “lets contraction” and see what the result is. Or just write a different sentence.

Let’s go to the park.

Let us go to the park.

It’s quiet in here.

It is quiet in here.

You’re silly.

You are silly.

I could’ve been somebody!

I could have been somebody! (Hey, now, it’s never too late.)

PLURALIZATION
Remember when I said you should not use an apostrophe to make something plural? Well, there are a couple unique snowflakes that need help in order to become plural. Apostrophe takes pity on them.

When a single letter or number needs to become plural, use an apostrophe before the “s.” This is because, in some cases, those two characters could look like a completely different word.

Computers use lots of 0’s and 1’s.

If you said 0s and 1s, that looks kinda like words that sound like “oz” and “is.” Bear with me; it’s more important for letters.

I got all A’s.

I got all As? Or, I got all as? Without obvious context, this would be super confusing.

I learned my ABCs.

There is more than one letter here, so we don’t need the apostrophe’s help to make the meaning clear.

(And there is one other instance that I won’t even mention, because it’s both arguable and confusing.)

Focus on the above four areas, and you will understand the apostrophe and her ways. She is mighty. She is misunderstood. She is crucial to the well-being of all other text. She demands respect.

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The Simple Semicolon

Em Dash—A Love Story

The Mighty Apostrophe

Melody's Musings

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